


say the word and you know i'll follow (off the grid in the el dorado)

by iamalekza



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff, Found Family, Friendship, Happy Ending, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, No Lesbians Die, gestures vaguely at all the fake places, group chats are a perfect trope and i will die on this hill, literally they're just so fucking fluffy, roadtrip au i guess, roadtrip au if you squint because i've never been to england OR america so like, they spend half the time making adoring eyes at each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:13:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27972911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamalekza/pseuds/iamalekza
Summary: It's a simple delivery job.Bring the last of the flowers to the chapel, let the wedding planner do whatever the fuck she wants with them, leave. Simple. Basic. Easy.She could do it in her sleep.It's a simple delivery job—until it isn't.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie, Hannah Grose/Owen Sharma
Comments: 92
Kudos: 245





	1. everything's growing in our garden

It's a simple delivery job.

Bring the last of the flowers to the chapel, let the wedding planner do whatever the fuck she wants with them, leave. Simple. Basic. Easy.

She could do it in her sleep.

It's a simple delivery job—until it isn't.

Jamie jumps, startling out of her bones and damn-near dropping the cigarette she's been holding out the window, when her passenger side door gets itself hurriedly yanked open by a flurry of white lace and cloth. "What the—"

She's even further stunned by the misty blue eyes staring back at her, crowned by a haphazardly upturned veil and deeply flushed cheeks.

"Please, please just drive," the voice asks, breathless, just an inch shy of a sob.

Jamie stares, almost dumbly, before realizing, "Holy fucking _shit_ , you're the bride."

" _Please!_ "

Fuck, how's Jamie supposed to say no to a crying bride?

She starts the engine and floors it, cigarette falling on the pavement, and speeds out of the parking lot before the chapel's wooden doors can fully open to reveal her as the getaway driver. The last thing she needs is to get incarcerated, again, and for _kidnapping_ , no less! Jamie's quite certain that kidnapping warrants more than the two years she'd previously served.

The car is quiet for a while as they start gunning for the edges of the city, air filled with nothing but an old pop song crooning on the radio and the sounds of the runaway bride in question sobbing in her passenger seat. Jamie frees one hand from its death-grip on the steering wheel and runs it through her hair, tightening around the roots, wondering what the everloving _fuck_ she's gotten herself into.

"Uh… hey, miss?"

A laughter, bubbling over with a bit of a sob, floats from her right. "Sorry, I—sorry."

Jamie spares a glance to her side, catches the bride shaking her head; it's almost like she's trying to convince herself that this is real, that this is _happening_.

"Cold feet on the wedding day, I reckon?"

"More like cold feet since the engagement even happened," comes the quiet response, fingers coming up to pluck the veil from her head and place it on her lap. Her blonde hair, having come undone from the chaos and the running away and the headshake, hides her face when she bows down towards it, picking at the edges… and then she's rolling the window down and chucking it into the wind.

"Oi! I could get apprehended for littering, you know?"

"Sorry!"

The sharp cry of an apology causes Jamie to whirl around and stare at the stranger in her passenger seat. Dani has her hands locked together, fingers twisting this way and that almost painfully, eyes wide and, honestly, a little frightened. Guilty. Scared. It's enough to cut away the edges of Jamie's temper, sanding them down with the look of someone who's going through too much than she should, and the crease between her brows finally lightens.

"Look, s'long as you don't do it again, we're golden," Jamie offers, tone softer, soothing the bite from her exclamation and watching as it does the trick, the bride's shoulders sinking from where they had been tensely held.

"I know this is weird, but thank you."

"Weird doesn't even begin to cover half of it," Jamie comments with a nod, eyes returning to the road ahead. "Ms. Clayton, I'm assuming? I did read the invites, I figured you wouldn't want O'Hara as your surname… you know, since you left and all."

"O'Mara, and yes, Clayton works, although—Dani. You can just call me Dani. Ms. Clayton is reserved for my students."

"Jamie Taylor," she offers, nodding once. "So, Dani, mind telling me what I'm risking my employment for?"

Another glance to the side confirms the wince that shakes the bride's body. "Uh…"

"I mean, you don't actually _have_ to, if you're not comfortable," Jamie interrupts, backpedalling when she sees the uncertainty in the blonde's eyes. "Just curious, s'all—"

"I'm gay," comes the blurted response.

"Ah." Jamie taps on the steering wheel with her index finger once, twice, thrice. "I'm sorry, but why are you marrying—"

"I don't know!" Dani throws her hands up in the air. "God, I don't know. It's a long story. You'll probably get bored."

"Ah, but you see, not everyone gets to be the chauffeur of a runaway bride." Jamie's eyes find the sign that marks the city limits and finally eases up on the pedal, slowing the van to a more modest pace. "Colour me interested."

"Okay, well…" The woman, Dani, is tugging on the lace collar of her dress. "Any way I could get out of this dress first?"

[ 💐 ]

They stop at a gas station, one that boasts a few basic articles of clothing to choose from. After handing over a plain black shirt and gray sweatpants to the runaway bride, Jamie politely waits outside of the van, fingers trying not to tremble against the screen of her phone.

 **Just The Gardener**  
Am I fired?

 **The-Becca**  
Is the bride breathing?

 **Just The Gardener**  
Christ, Rebecca, what kind of heathen do you take me for?

 **Unofficially Mrs. Sharma**  
No, Jamie, you're not fired, although I don't recommend returning to the shop for the night.

 **Your Loaf-verlord**  
Not that it's any cause for panic! Mrs. O'Mara only very sweetly asked if a stray bride had managed to hide onto our van. Thankfully, Rebecca ever so kindly told them that our van has already been parked with no missing brides hiding inside.

 **Just The Gardener**  
Thank god I convinced you lot not to add those tacky wraps along the side, yeah?

 **The-Becca**  
HEY

 **Just The Gardener**  
You're a star, Beccs x

 **Unofficially Mrs. Sharma**  
You might want to lay low for a while, though. While Judy is a pleasure, Mrs. Clayton, on the other hand…

 **Just The Gardener**  
Isn't this brilliant? Started the day for a normal delivery job, now I'm charged with keeping a pretty bride away from Mumzilla

 **The-Becca**  
Pretty, huh?

Jamie sighs as loudly as humanly possible, pointedly leaving Rebecca's jibe on read and pocketing her phone.

"Everything alright?" Jamie jumps, lets a curse word slip out of her breath, when the door behind her opens. She whirls around to find Dani, standing there with the shirt a few sizes too large, poking her head out from the inside with her blonde hair in (attractive) disarray.

"S'fine," Jamie answers. "Although, well, your mother—my boss implied she's tearing through the town looking for you."

"Oh god." Jamie watches, maybe a little sorry, as the ex-bride takes a tired seat on the floor of her van. Shaky fingers thread through her wild locks, pulling frustratedly at the roots, and Jamie doesn't even think twice before reaching forward and gently untangling them from their death grip.

"Breathe, Poppins."

"I am so, so sorry for dragging you into this—"

"Poppins, hey," Jamie interrupts, finally succeeding in removing fingers from hair and then holding the offending appendages in the air between them, just in case Dani gets any more hair-uprooting ideas. "Hey, it's all good. I'm holding up just fine. Are you?"

Dani shakes her head.

"How 'bout we drive a bit more, yeah? Find a diner somewhere, get you some lunch, and you can tell me… anything, you can tell me anything you're comfortable saying."

Guilt plays at the edges of Dani's lips, obvious enough for Jamie to see, and she gives the hands in her grasp a bit of a shake.

"Or anywhere. Tell me where to go, I'll get you there."

[ 💐 ]

_Tell me where to go, I'll get you there._

Dani feels dizzy. Less so about the wedding she's just left behind, more so about the stranger offering her the first taste of choice she's ever really had in her life.

It's a little overwhelming, if she's being honest with herself.

It's a little terrifying.

It's a little _freeing_.

"Okay," she says, finding herself nodding. "Okay. A diner—a diner sounds nice."

"That settles it, then." Jamie's hands, pleasantly warm and a little calloused around her own, give her one last shake that finally coaxes a smile from somewhere deep within her. "Ready to go?"

Dani sighs, nods, slips back into the passenger seat, fingers wringing her own wrists as Jamie gets in beside her and starts the engine.

They do find a little diner off the road, only sparsely populated by the staff and a handful of truck drivers, and they quickly find a vacant corner booth, ordering for a coffee, a tea, and some waffles, because why not?

As they wait for their meal, Dani risks another glance at Jamie through her fringe, taking note of the eyes darting across the screen of her phone and the lower lip tucked in between her teeth. She's pretty, Dani notes, but then, as quickly as the thought had come, she's shaking it away—it's the last thing she needs to worry about, she thinks.

No, what's more important is—

"Are you sure you're not in trouble?"

"Poppins, I swear to you, Hannah's more concerned about how _you're_ doing. I mean, that was—"

"Wrong," Dani finishes, smiling sadly as she traces the floral pattern on the table beneath her hand. Jamie opens her mouth, as if to ask for clarification, but Dani holds her own palm up, politely. "It's wrong that I waited this long. On the actual wedding day. It's like I'm in a bad rom-com."

"I mean…"

Jamie's quiet laugh is electric, sending shivers down her body and easing some of the weight off of her shoulders. For a second, Dani smiles back, capturing the surprisingly easy warmth of the moment before allowing the dread of explaining what happened to wash over her.

"We've been friends since we were kids," Dani starts, grabbing a napkin from the dispenser on their table and quietly tearing it to shreds, just so that her fingers would have something to do other than fidget in place. "Eddie and I—we've known each other forever, and my mom… when my dad died, my mom was never the same, but Eddie was there, and Eddie's mom was there, and I felt like I had a place in the world.

"I'm grateful that they had my back when I grew up, and I think that's—I think that's why things got to this point. They've done so much for me, _so much_ , that I didn't think I could say no to them. So I said yes, even when I didn't want to say yes, because if I said no, it felt like I was being ungrateful." Dani looks up, peers at Jamie through her eyelashes, partly fearing whatever expression might be waiting for her, but instead, Jamie bears an open look on her face, listening aptly. It's such a simple gesture, the way Jamie lets her lead, that Dani finds the strength to carry on. "I realized I didn't really like boys the way I was expected to when I was in high school. My school was a wonder. It was so incredibly open and welcoming and diverse and free, and it helped me understand what I wanted.

"But Eddie, he—he knew what he wanted too, knew for a long time, and so he started to pursue me and I was afraid to tell him no." Dani doesn't realize that her hands start trembling, not until Jamie reaches forward to settle them in hers. A grateful smile dances on her lips. "I was afraid to tell him no, afraid he'd turn it around on me, because they practically raised me. Judy was overjoyed. She was crying. I was afraid to tell her no, too.

"It just… kept happening. He asked me to date him, I said yes. He asked me to kiss him, I said yes." She breathes in sharply, shakily, closing her eyes shut. "He asked me to love him, I said yes. He asked me to marry him, I said yes. I just—I couldn't say no, I couldn't say I didn't want to, because they meant so much to me. I thought… I thought, maybe, if I tried hard enough, I could say yes and mean it.

"But then today, today… it was the priest who was asking me, a priest I didn't know, and—nobody, _nobody_ else has ever asked me if I really wanted it, nobody outside of the people I couldn't say no to, so I did it. I said no. I _finally_ said no." By the end of her story, Dani realizes that she's crying, and she only does so when Jamie's hands swoop in, brushing the tears from her cheeks with such a tenderness that it prompts more to fall. "I—I said no, and I feel so horrible, but now I feel so free, and I feel like _me_."

"You feel so 'you' in a diner in the middle of nowhere?"

The question is so far from what Dani expects that she laughs, _laughs_ , finally finding the strength to brush her own tears away from her eyes. "Yes," she answers, startles a little at the budding realization that she hasn't felt so openly herself _in years_ prior to this very moment. Maybe Jamie had meant for it to be a source of light-hearted comfort, but it's true. "Yes, in this diner in the middle of nowhere."

Jamie's hands move to her shoulders, giving her a squeeze before finally letting go as plates and cups are deposited onto their table.

"But yeah. That's how I stumbled into the first running car I saw—yours." When the last of her sobs fall free, Dani finally opens her eyes again, looks at Jamie and warms at the completely sincere expression on her face. "Am I going crazy?"

"I think you're surprisingly sane, considering."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, sorting out all of my au fic ideas before realising—AH! RUNAWAY BRIDE AU! as if that isn't the most on-the-nose thing in the world. i'd quite like to drown my sorrows now.
> 
> fic title is from the song "off the grid" by alina baraz feat. khalid, and chapter title is from the song "garden song" by phoebe bridgers


	2. what if i told you i feel like i know you (but we never met?)

They settle down for the meal, making minimal conversation but never feeling like they have to fill the air around them with words. It's odd, how easy it is to fall into a routine of _cut waffle, shove waffle in mouth, drink horrible tea_ ; it's odd, how easy it is to share brunch with this stranger who has given Jamie her life story and hoping she doesn't chuck it away like she'd been handed a lump of burning coal.

Jamie knows all about fucked up families, and so she holds the story in her hands, gentle as she would a rose, and keeps it.

"Matter of discussion," Jamie says after a while, offering an apologetic smile as it startles Dani out of her thoughts. "Hannah tells me your mum's still at it. Upturning buildings left and right. Fancy going anywhere else?"

"Oh, I—" Dani sets down her fork, but her hands never leave it. Her fingers just continue to trace its ridges. She's always doing something with her hands, Jamie notes, always wringing them together or finding poor little napkins to massacre or the like, and it really shouldn't be as endearing as it is, but the day is chock-full of surprises. "I think I've stolen away too much of your time. You can just drop me off at a motel—"

"I'm not leaving you to fend for yourself, Poppins, not after you've been through the wringer with Mumzilla," Jamie huffs quietly, brows furrowing before continuing, "Unless you want to be alone?"

"I—" Dani gives her that look, that _look_ , like she's trying to decide whether she should say something _she wants_ , rather than what somebody else wants or might want, and it's a little heartbreaking to see someone reach this point. Jamie can't imagine how much she's been through, living a life that isn't her own, suffering through an endless stream of days where she's never been given a choice.

"Poppins," Jamie calls out gently, easing Dani from the reverie she's been stuck on. "What do you want?"

Something glints in the depths of those blue eyes. Jamie chases after it, hands meeting Dani's fingers on the table and squeezing, ever so gently, and then suddenly the ember is there at the forefront, burning to life in the abyss.

"Stay." Dani says it so softly, so quietly, and Jamie watches as she shakes her head, clears her throats, grasps onto her own fingers and squeezes back. "Stay, please?"

It really shouldn't be this easy...

"Of course, Poppins."

... but it is.

[ 💐 ]

Jamie watches as Dani's eyebrows make a curious hop, pouring through the messages she's been sharing with her friends while she drives along the road, looking for a motel to settle in for the night.

"I can't believe they're doing this for someone they don't know," comes the disbelieving whisper. Jamie turns and regards Dani with a tender look.

"They're good people. I hope you don't mind, but I told them you needed to dip, and they understand," Jamie offers, before blustering out, "I didn't tell them what you told me—figured it wasn't in my right to say, but you can tell them if you want. 'Least Rebecca would get off my back about you being dead and all."

"Through your phone?"

"Unless you have your own hiding somewhere?"

"I have a—oh no, my _phone_." Jamie spares her a glance, watching amusedly as Dani blinks frustratedly at the ceiling of her van. "My wallet. My IDs. My phone. My _everything_. I left them all."

"Don't blame you. That bloody dress doesn't even look like it has pockets."

"It doesn't."

"Shame." Jamie's eyes flicker up to the rearview mirror, eyeing the heaping pile of white in the back of the van. "Or, well, not anymore, considerin' it now looks like a glorified dishrag."

"I should throw it away," Dani agrees, sounding resolute.

"I agree but _please_ don't throw it out on the road."

"I won't," Dani reassures with a soft laugh, looking back down from where she's been burning holes through the ceiling to eye the group chat Jamie had left the phone on. Jamie watches, perhaps a bit fascinated, as Dani gets comfortable in her seat before letting her fingers tap rapidly across the screen of the phone, tongue tucked in concentration between her teeth.

"Any particular kind of music you fancy, Poppins?" Jamie reaches for the radio, trying to flip between radio stations but never settling on just one. "I do have a couple of discs in the glove compartment, but I don't know what you listen to and I'd really rather not have you complaining about bleedin' ears the whole ride."

"I won't complain," Dani reassures, setting the phone in her lap before leaning over to check the compartment. The disc wallet that Dani pulls out is old, ratty, weathered—Jamie knows that she won't find a zipper, as it had fallen off over the years from overuse, and several sleeves have gone empty from discs that would no longer play no matter how much Jamie tries to buff the scratches out (although they have been rehomed on her wall, instead). Still, the binder is intact, and she glances back every so often to see Dani pouring through the albums upon albums that she's collected over years.

"Haven't had the chance to buy a lot of new albums yet," Jamie says after a while of musicless driving, eyes glued on the road. "I reckon you'd have found one you might like by now, but if my music choice is rubbish, we can always just turn on the—"

Jamie's heart clenches in her chest when she sees that Dani's silence is a result of her falling asleep.

"Oh, Poppins," she whispers under her breath, plucking the binder from Dani's lap and putting it in her own. Immediately, Dani curls a little further in her seat, head leaned against the window and eyelashes fluttering. Her mouth's partly open, a little red around the edges from the lipstick she had since rubbed or bitten away, and a stray lock of hair dangles across her nose, dancing with every breath. "Knackered yourself out, haven't you?"

Jamie reaches out, tucking the lock of hair behind the sleeping woman's ear before returning to her own chair, warmth pouring from somewhere within. With a small chuckle, she picks out a disc from the binder—a Phoebe Bridgers one that she's come to adore—and slides it into the player, burrowing into her seat and getting comfortable as the sun begins to set in the far corner of her eyesight. With the binder placed safely on the dashboard and the first track beginning to fill the air, Jamie allows herself to shed the rest of her reservations and ease into the _now_.

If she has any lingering doubts about stepping on the gas that morning, it's now as lost in the wind as Dani's bridal veil had been.

[ 💐 ]

"Dani."

Jamie watches as Dani comes to, fighting an adoring smile as the woman in her passenger seat rubs gently at her eyes.

"Are we at the motel?"

Jamie hums, nodding towards the window where the neon light is blinking, proclaiming its vacancies. Dani leans forward and gazes at the signage, following the cursive loops of each letter—and Jamie, Jamie traces the lights reflected from the depths of her eyes.

"Don't let the exterior fool you. It's just like any other motel," Jamie teases gently, bumping her elbow against Dani's and watching as Dani ducks her head sheepishly in response. "C'mon, Poppins. Time to bury that awful dress."

They park the van in an empty spot, and Jamie helps Dani drag the dress all the way into the rectangular rubbish bin.

"See you never, mumzilla's idea of a good dress," Jamie can't help but comment, closing the lid and dusting off her hands. The sound of Dani's entertained giggle makes her lips melt to a smile. "Well then. Shall we book a room?"

Dani thinks for a second, pauses, then shakes her head.

"Can you give me a second?"

Jamie does, simply follows Dani to the public phone booths and leans against the wall a fair distance away, waiting patiently when Dani finally phones home.

As Dani starts talking into the receiver, Jamie allows herself a moment to take everything in, inhaling the crisp night air before deciding that she deserves a smoke.

She pulls out the half-crumpled box of Blues in her pocket and produces a stick and a lighter. "Almost running out of you," she comments idly, fitting the cigarette between her lips and lighting the other tip before returning the lighter into the half-empty box, returning the box into her jeans. Jamie leans back, breathes in, letting the smoke fill her lungs and holding it there before release, watching as it dances in the air above her.

She hasn't had this much excitement in a long time. In fact, she's done all she can to _avoid_ anything that isn't perfectly normal and perfectly boring, but now that she's here…

Jamie spares a glance at Dani, watching as the runaway bride runs her free hand across the air, gesticulating wildly.

Now that she's here, Jamie can't help but feel like she's exactly where she needs to be.

She turns her eyes to the darkening skies above them, greeting the winking stars, and waits. She waits, and waits, and _waits_ , and it's like no time passes at all.

"Hey," Dani says after a while, leaning back against the wall beside her. "So… I called my mom, just to keep her from, I don't know, filing a missing person report."

"Glad to know I won't be labelled a kidnapper if they make the connection, then."

"I also asked her to drop off my stuff—my wallet, my IDs, my phone—at the school. _That_ took a lot more convincing, I think, but she finally relented… to _that_ request, at least."

"Hasn't given up on the chase, has she?"

Jamie watches as Dani's face teeters on the line between angry and upset.

"No, she—she thinks I'm going to come back to Eddie, that it's just cold feet, and she's already made all of these decisions without me that I just… I _can't_." Dani's laugh is tense, hardly even a laugh. "She's apologized to Eddie. She's rebooked the venue, the caterers, I'm just so—"

Jamie sees her fingers twitch, beginning to reach up for her hair, so she offers the runaway bride her cigarette, smirking a little when Dani plucks it from her grasp and takes a puff of her own.

"I meant what I said, Poppins," Jamie offers in reassurance, bumping her shoulder lightly against Dani's before reclaiming the stick. "I'm not leaving you to the wolves. I'll be here for you until you tell me to go, and only if you _want_ me to go."

They share a smile. Almost without thinking, Dani's hands capture the sleeve around Jamie's free hand, tugging gently and holding on. The gesture sets something alight in Jamie's chest.

"Thank you," Dani whispers, voice only just above the point of being completely inaudible, but Jamie's ears pick it up all the same. "For staying."

"You're part of the family now," Jamie answers with a grin, crushing the finished cigarette under her boot. "They've even added your name in there and everything."

"They did?"

To answer, Jamie pulls out her phone and flashes the screen to Dani, smiling smugly as she registers the new name of the last message she had sent, the last message _they_ had sent.

**Just The Gardener and Mary Poppins**  
Thank you so much, everyone. For everything. - Dani

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from the song "punisher" by phoebe bridgers
> 
> and yes, if you were curious, "punisher" is also the name of the album jamie plays on the drive to the motel; idk, felt like phoebe bridgers is one of the few artists modern au jamie would listen to outside of rock classics


	3. look what you're doing to me (oh, your love is better than i remember)

The room they've rented for the night is small, imperfect, and exactly what Dani needs after having had such a perfectly manicured and inauthentic morning. She wastes no time collapsing on the bed closest to the window, spreading her arms out over the springy, lumpy mattress and sighing like it's the most comfortable thing in the world.

"Can't exactly afford a five-star with my wage yet," Jamie offers a little ruefully.

"This is perfect." Dani's fingers dig into the comforter, gathering the thick cloth in her hands. "Perfect and anonymous and real. Thank you."

"Keep saying thank you and my head'll be bigger than the door can fit," she hears Jamie laugh. Dani turns, eager to engage in conversation with someone who's very quickly becoming her favourite person to talk to, but stops short when she sees Jamie unbuttoning her shirt, leaving her in a black tank top.

Dani won't deny that her mouth goes a little dry at the sight.

"I asked Hannah to send over a package of clothes, I reckon some of mine would fit you, I hope you don't mind," Jamie continues, sitting down on the edge of her bed and shimmying out of her jeans and _that's_ when Dani comes to her senses and averts her eyes to the ceiling, counting the yellow stains in an attempt to reign in her stuttering pulse. "Becca also said she's gotten your things with little fanfare, so she'll include those in the package. Made sure to coerce your colleagues into keeping her identity a secret, too. Here's to hoping that works."

"She did?"

"Regular miracle worker, that one," Jamie laughs over her shoulder. The sound of the comforter being pulled aside reaches her ears, and Dani takes that as her cue to turn around and look again, smiling as Jamie tucks herself in for the night. "Think you and her would get along swimmingly. At the cost of my sanity, mind you."

"Thank—"

"Dani _—_ "

" _Jamie,_ " Dani interrupts, rolling to her side and propping herself up on one elbow, peering at Jamie from across the gap between their beds. "I mean it. You didn't have to do this, _any_ of this, but you did. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. It means a lot to me."

"Poppins." The way Jamie says the new nickname, soft and tender on her tongue, sends Dani's heart into a dizzying frenzy. "I'm afraid I'd take you anywhere you wanted, if you asked. Just keep your chin up, yeah? I'm here for as long as you want me to be."

Something about the confession saps the strength from Dani's body, causing her to collapse back into the bed and hide a smile into her pillow. Jamie sees, though, because suddenly Jamie's the one leaning up and peeking at her from around the lamp, and all Dani could do is to hide her wide grin behind her palm.

"There's that smile."

It's so impossibly soft, the way Jamie chuckles under her breath before returning to her pillow, that it steals Dani's breath away.

Jamie reaches over, tugs at the string of the lamp, and plunges them both into the comforting darkness of a motel room in the middle of _Nowhere, but Free_.

"Good night, Dani."

"Good night, Jamie."

[ 💐 ]

Dani wakes up to the smell of food and warm beverages wrapping around the room.

Her eyes squeeze tighter before opening, for the very first time, to a life where she is her own author. The realization sinks into her skin and warms her muscles, making her loose and boneless; it's a pleasant feeling, if a little daunting, and Dani lazily rolls over to face the other side of the room, following the scent of breakfast.

"Mornin', Poppins."

Delight curls around Dani when she spots Jamie leaning against the open balcony door, an open expression of warmth on the gardener's face. She's nursing another cigarette, curls balancing on the fine line between styled and haphazard, and her body is backlit by the sun, giving her the kind of glow that makes Dani blink once, twice, wondering if she might still be dreaming.

"Good morning, Jamie," she finally answers, voice barely above a quiet, content sigh as she finally sits up and throws her hands up to stretch. Her shoulders, while aching from yesterday's ordeal, are lighter than they've ever been before, and the wordless reminder of her freedom floods through her like honey. "You've been up long?"

"Only long enough to change," Jamie responds, plucking at her shirt with her free hand until Dani realizes that she has, indeed, changed—a loose black shirt labelled with a musician Dani doesn't recognize and plain grey jeans. "Package came early, although, I think Becca got a little too over-excited by it."

At the confused sound Dani makes, Jamie nods her head towards the other bed, Dani following her gaze until she finds not one, but two opened boxes. She laughs under her breath, finally managing to get herself on her feet, and peers into each package—indeed, they're full of clothes, as well as two sets of toiletries lovingly packed into tiny little bags. She quickly grabs the unopened one and hugs it to her chest. "Jamie, your friends are god-send."

"That they are." Jamie extinguishes her cigarette against the underside of her boot before throwing the crushed filter into the bin. "I went out to get some breakfast, too, since we skipped dinner last night. Figured you'd be famished. Come on out."

"You've thought of everything," Dani comments delightedly, setting down the pack of toiletries to make a beeline for the low balcony. Because they're only on the second floor, there isn't much of a sight other than the motel pool that has since turned green from disuse, but the sun is warm enough without being oppressively stifling, and the food is waiting on the table, already laid out and presentable.

"Not everything," she hears Jamie murmur softly under her breath.

"No?"

They take a seat across from each other, and Dani takes a sip from the paper cup on her side of the table, humming happily when the coffee hits her tongue.

"We've got a problem, Poppins."

"Oh no." Dani straightens herself up against her better wishes and prepares herself for the worst.

"Mumzilla—your mum," Jamie starts, and while Dani still winces at the mere mention of the mom she's left at the chapel without so much as a goodbye, she won't deny the small sense of relief she feels when she realizes she's not being forced to go home. "Hannah's done some digging and found that your mum has a bunch of people posted 'round town. Distant relatives of yours, I reckon? They're—"

"Waiting for me to come back," Dani finishes, all sense of ease slipping away from her grasp until she's crumbling into her seat, fingers finding purchase on the edges of the table and white-knuckling the wood. "Of course. _Of course_ she would. God. She isn't going to let it go."

"Poppins, hey," Jamie says, voice permeating through the writhing mess in Dani's head when fingers begin to gently pry her own from her death-grip. The nudges aren't forceful, aren't demanding; they're soft, gentle, tiny little pulls and tugs—a reminder, she thinks distantly, a reminder that Jamie is there. Dani slowly allows her grip to be pried away, exhaling quietly as Jamie's hands gently massage her own. An encouragement. "Tell me what you want, alright? What do you want to do?"

Jamie's so nice, Dani thinks. Jamie's so nice, so tender, looking at her with wide eyes, waiting patiently for an answer...

An answer from someone she barely knows.

Guilt re-settles in Dani's bones, hardening against her skin, and suddenly her limbs are leaden in their weight, too much for her to hold up.

"Dani?"

"I can't keep you here," Dani whispers, nearly sobs, feeling the guilt spreading somewhere closer to her lungs. It creeps, like darkness, spanning the length of her inch by inch until she thinks she might drown in it. Her throat tightens, her chest burns, and then her fingers are moving again—trying to find whatever it can hold onto that isn't Jamie. She might crush her, she thinks. She might crush Jamie in her fingers, might crush Jamie under the weight she carries. "God. Jamie, I _can't_ —"

"Poppins—"

"No," Dani interrupts, barely hearing Jamie, eyes squeezing shut when her hands, instinctively, try to bury themselves into her hair, but Jamie's hands are holding, _holding_ , holding without crushing. "I don't even know what I'm _doing_ , Jamie. I ran away and I dragged you here and I can't keep dragging you away."

"Poppins," Jamie repeats, voice softer, and suddenly the hands are moving—they're wrapped around her fingers, and then they're threading through her own, and it takes all of Dani's willpower not to tense her grasp, afraid to crush, afraid to hurt. "Listen to me? If I didn't want to go, nothing would get me to move. The president of the world could come down and threaten me, and I'd still fuckin' cement my feet on the spot. Maybe flip him the bird if he keeps yipping."

She tries to shoot down the laughter, but it comes unbidden anyway, bubbling in her chest until it's mixing with a strangled sob.

"I _want_ to be here. If you're worrying about whether you're keeping me here unfairly or not, then there it is: I _want_ to be here. I _want_ to make sure you're alright," Jamie continues. "That's what I want, Poppins. What about you?"

Dani finally looks up, finally registers that Jamie is crouched down close to her. Her eyes are bright, warm—Dani can't tell the colour through the sheen of tears in her eyes, but she can see that they're concerned, earnest, looking at Dani in a way no one has ever bothered to look at her before. There are no secrets there, no expectations.

Just Jamie.

"I..."

Just Jamie—soft, patient, genuine.

"I want to stay," Dani breathes, and the admission is like a fire catching on kindling, burning the weight away until Dani's slumping on the back of her chair, feeling dizzy and light-headed. "I want to stay," she repeats, and when a sob rips free from her chest, it's cleaner than the first ones had been—a cry of relief, she thinks, cleansing her from within, and Jamie—Jamie stays there, holding her hands, keeping her anchored to the moment when her body threatens to burn away. "I want to stay," she says again, her head nodding furiously as Jamie's grasp tightens ever so slightly, reminding her.

"Then we'll stay," Jamie offers, finally, minutes later when Dani's sobs have given way to deep, trembling breaths. "We'll stay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from the song "look what you're doing to me" by banks


	4. close my eyes, fantasize (three clicks and i'm home)

"The coast, yeah?"

Dani turns over her shoulder and watches as Jamie's eyes flicker to the phone docked by the dashboard, quickly fiddling with the map on display before finally clicking her seatbelt in place.

"If that's okay," Dani says. The confessions that were shared between them earlier that morning still lingers on her mind, raw and fragile but infinitely gentle. Jamie has reassured her that she would like to see this through, and Dani—while continuing to feel lingering pangs of guilt from the very nature of her being—is happy enough to have some company in this brave new adventure, especially the company of one who has shown her nothing but kindness. 

Still, Dani wants to hear a confirmation.

"I'd love to see the coast." Jamie's smile, genuine and warm, eases the tangle of worry in Dani's gut. She does it so quickly, so efficiently, finding where the knots are worst and unraveling them from there. "It's been a while since I've been. You'd rather a quiet beach or a lively one?"

"A quiet one," Dani answers tentatively. "The crowds—I think I'd like to be somewhere quiet for now."

"That settles it, then."

Jamie reaches forward and taps along her phone, pulling up directions to a place Dani doesn't recognize: Tidal Bay.

"Not far from here," Jamie explains, having seen the question lingering on the tip of Dani's tongue. "Every so often, when the Leafling can afford to close its doors for a bit, we go here. Rebecca has a little cabin close to the shore, I'm sure we could stay there for the time being."

"Oh! Oh, no, I wouldn't want to impose..."

"We could ask her, if you'd like? See if she can let us stay for a bit until this all blows over?"

Jamie continues to let her have the final say. It's still a little jarring, Dani admits, to be given such freedom of choice; it's still a little different, still a little new, but Dani, looking back into the _openness_ in Jamie's eyes, finally nods.

"Alright. We'll ask her," Jamie relents with a dip of her head, reaching forward and pulling up a messaging app on her phone.

 **Just The Gardener and Mary Poppins  
** Becca

 **The-Becca  
** OH PERFECT  
I was just about to ring you

 **Just The Gardener and Mary Poppins  
** Why?

 **The-Becca  
** One of the people from Dani's school dropped by  
Hold on  
Can't type, busy pruning, let me call you

It doesn't take long before a FaceTime call request fills the screen. When Jamie turns to her, eyes questioning, Dani offers a tiny smile.

"I'd love to meet them," Dani reassures, leaning closer to Jamie to fit into the screen.

Jamie smells like flowers, Dani thinks, although the revelation isn't so much a surprise as it is a confirmation: flowers, wood, and a little bit of smoke.

When Jamie answers the call, Rebecca's kind face fills the screen. Her arms are shifting, moving, but the screen cuts off at the hands—pruning, she had said on her message, something to do with plants.

"Seriously, Jamie, I've been waiting for your call for _hours_ ," comes Rebecca's amused greeting, her warm eyes flicking towards the screen and crinkling gently with a wide smile. "Dani! Oh, I'm pleased to finally meet you. Rebecca Jessel. I believe we've talked on the phone once, when you were inquiring?"

"I'm glad to finally meet you too, Rebecca," Dani greets in kind, offering Rebecca a small wave.

"Please, Becca is fine, love. Jamie, you've been taking care of her, I trust?"

"You know I have," Jamie answers with a roll of her eyes, before squinting at the area behind Rebecca. "You've been keeping an eye on my roses?"

"Your roses are alive and well, captain, and I've made sure to chase away any onlookers from trying to cut them down before they're ready." Rebecca offers a little salute. "Dani, a colleague of yours dropped by today. She looked proper shady, at first, but she just came to ask if we've seen you. Word's got out about what happened in the chapel—"

Dani winces at the reminder.

"—but she said if I were to ever see you, that the school will cover your shifts for as long as you need them to be."

 _That_ stuns her to silence. Confusion paints across her face as Dani struggles to find the right words to confirm if she's hearing things correctly, or if, maybe, Rebecca had misheard. "I'm sorry—they're... they'd do that? Did they say what I had to do to pay them back?"

"Pay them back?" A soft chime of laughter echoes from the phone's speakers. "Dear, I think they just want to reassure you that the school will welcome you back once this is all over."

An overwhelmed breath puffs out of Dani's chest, and suddenly Jamie's there, one hand on her shoulder and squeezing softly, reassuringly, grounding the chittering in the darkest recesses of her mind until they recede back into their shadowy corners. Dani can only nod, speechless, and lean back into her seat as Jamie leads the conversation, finally pulling out of the motel parking lot.

"Jamie, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Tidal Bay," she hears Jamie answer quickly, eyes on the open road. "Figured we could hide out in the Jessel Estate, if you don't mind."

" _Jessel Estate,_ " Rebecca repeats with a scoff.

"Yeah, you know, beach-side establishment, lots of glass, used to live there until you were drawn in by a bunch of heathens starting up a flower business—"

"Don't be smart with me!"

" _Ha_ , like you don't like it!"

Dani likes how they talk to each other, how it's easy and playful and effortless—all she's ever known are minefields, and while she's learned to manoeuvre them over the years, it never gets any easier. Conversations started feeling like a chore, and after a while of having to dance around tripwires, Dani eventually just gave up. She drew further away from discussions, offering only nods or shakes of her head because it was easier than dealing with the consequences of a misspoken word or an unpopular opinion. She grew tired of having to defend her every step.

But seeing Jamie and Rebecca like this, easily lobbing jibes at each other in-between any actual exchange, reminds Dani of the many things she'd unfairly sacrificed for a life she never wanted.

"Poppins?"

Dani blinks back into the car, finding Jamie's worried gaze sliding over her. Some time between letting their conversation fade away into the background of her thoughts, her hand seems to have slid from her lap only to clutch shakily at the sleeve of Jamie's shirt, fingers trembling around the material. With a startled sound, Dani pulls her hand back into her lap, face burning with embarrassment. "Sorry! Sorry, I don't know why I did that."

Jamie's gaze lingers only for a second, eager to return to the road so that they don't _crash_ , but the second spans like a decade between them.

"S'alright." The answer is so infinitely quiet, spoken under the guise of a breath, that Dani barely catches it. She turns to Jamie, trying to see if she'd really said anything at all, and finds a ghost of a smile lingering on the woman's lips. 

"Dani," a voice calls, and Dani's eyes return to the screen of Jamie's phone. Rebecca has since relocated to the storefront of the shop, judging by the change in scenery, nursing a cup of tea and smiling knowingly into the camera. "You're welcome to hide out in my place, if you'd like. Could use a bit of a dusting, though. We haven't been there in a couple of months."

"Thank you." Dani isn't sure how to process the lengths these people will take to help out a stranger like her, but the gratefulness swells in her chest nevertheless. Fate must have smiled upon her when she chose to run away from the life another person had written for her. Instead of ending up alone in the middle of nowhere, she's found people who are helping her, caring for her, even when there's nothing she could offer them in return. "Thank you so much. I—I don't know what to say—"

"Just enjoy the scenery," comes Rebecca's answer, staring meaningfully at Dani like there's no distance between them at all. To her left, Jamie lets out a small rumble of a laugh in ascent. "We'll take care of you if you let us."

_If you let us._

"I will."

Relenting has never felt so freeing before.

"And who knows," Rebecca forges on, smiling wickedly into the camera. "Maybe Hannah will let us drop by, too. We're due for a nice vacation. Jamie's flowers are pretty but they're hard work."

"What can I say?" Jamie's laugh sends Dani's chest fluttering. "Hard-headed, the lot of them. They take after their mother."

[ 💐 ]

Dani doesn't know if life could ever get any better than _this_.

The open road goes on beyond the hood of Jamie's van, and the fields on either side spread as far as the eye can see. More than once, Dani finds herself leaning against the window, watching idly at the rolling plains and pointing out things that catch her attention—a lightning-struck tree, a roaming herd of cows, a wild horse grazing behind an old wooden fence. Out here, under the open sky, Dani feels so separated from her old life that, if she blinks, she thinks she can finally forget them and start a new chapter, one that _she's_ written for herself.

Her phone, retrieved from the package Rebecca had sent earlier, makes another insistent chime.

Dani groans, swiping away the notification of her mother's latest message.

"Your mum?"

"Yeah," Dani admits with a sigh, putting her phone on silent and sliding it onto the dashboard. Karen has gotten more insistent the longer the day draws on, asking Dani when, not _if_ , she's coming back. Admittedly, she's feeling a little guilty that her mother is shelling out more money to keep the chapel reserved in their name, but she thinks back to what Jamie had said after the first message came through: she doesn't owe them anything, and what they do with their money outside of her knowledge or consent is not her fault.

It'll take a while for her to get used to it, but it's a start nevertheless.

"Hey Jamie," she finds herself saying, willing her thoughts away from the wedding she'd left behind. "Are we almost there?"

"Just about. See that cluster of buildings over there?" Jamie's pointing at a blur in the distance, somewhere to their left. It's barely a smudge against the horizon. "That's Tidal Bay."

Tidal Bay, as it turns out, is a charmingly quaint town. Many of the storefronts still bear the original masonry of whatever architectural generation precedes it, decorated with polished but dated wood and wrought-iron. As they roll through the main streets and down what Dani thinks constitutes as the shopping centre, she finds that the place brings a sense of separation from the past, like a place stuck in time. A far cry from the big city, certainly, but it takes less than a second for Dani to realize that she likes its air of serenity.

"Miraculously untouched," Jamie offers. "I fear the day tourists find this place. It's better like this, I think. Small. Cozy. Away."

"The perfect place to hide from controlling moms and tacky weddings?"

"Yeah." There's something about Jamie's laugh that makes Dani's heart knock a breathless rhythm against her sternum. "Not a lot of people know about this place, thankfully. We'll be pretty safe here, I think. Stay as much as we'd like."

 _We_.

It isn't the first time Jamie has said it, but Dani doesn't mind at all.

When she looks at Jamie's smirk, the twinkle in Jamie's eyes when she shoots her a glance before returning to watch the road, yesterday feels like a _lifetime_ ago, and, in some ways, it _is_. A different lifetime—a lifetime that Dani didn't belong to, that Dani no longer belongs to.

One chapter has ended, and another is waiting to be written.

Dani would quite like to write it with Jamie, if Jamie would let her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from the song "i know the end" by phoebe bridgers


	5. my days end best when this sunset gets itself (behind that little lady sitting on the passenger side)

Before they can even reach the cabin, Jamie decides to stop the car.

Dani has fallen asleep in the passenger seat, a frequent occurrence during their drive, not that she minds. In the quiet peace of idling by the side of the road at 9:00 PM, Jamie takes the opportunity to look at her companion, wondering whether she should (or if she even could) curse the way her breath hitches at the sight.

Dani's lips are parted again, puffing quiet breaths in the throes of sleep, her eyelashes dewy and fluttering. She's tucked into one of Jamie's hoodies, zipped all the way up to the base of her neck, the hood bunched up around her neck, fingers swallowed up inside the long sleeves Jamie insists are a requirement whenever she makes a purchase. Jamie can't deny the way her throat tightens, looking at Dani dozing off against the window, but just as powerfully the endearment comes, so does the guilt.

A runaway bride, fresh off the coattails of a failed engagement and a marriage left to crash in her wake—not that Jamie is averse to the idea. If anything, she's pretty fucking glad Dani has built up the courage to leave the life written for her by everybody else that isn't named Dani Fucking Clayton.

Is it even possible to be proud of someone she barely knows?

Except...

Except Jamie does know her in all the ways that matter the most.

She knows Dani's brave, bit of a late bloomer, but that doesn't make it any less valid. If anything, it makes her all the braver, to have lived through it and come out on top—to have survived such an obvious loss of control but capturing it, regaining it, and never letting it go.

She knows Dani's smart, witty, and nurturing. Every time she's spoken of the kids she's teaching, Jamie felt her passion, her drive, her love for them. It's like watching a fucking miracle unfold, the way Dani builds them up, that even someone like _Jamie_ can't help but see them from her point of view. Kids are troublesome as shite but maybe, _maybe_ she can see the appeal, s'long as they're not her own. S'long as she isn't the one popping them out. It's an important distinction.

She knows Dani's caring. She's cared so much about how Jamie feels about the whole situation, always making sure that she hasn't dragged the gardener into something she doesn't want to do, and she's touched by the gesture but really, she thinks Dani needs to be a little bit more confident in herself. Jamie's enjoying herself so far, and Dani's afraid that she isn't, guilty that her presence is a burden when, in fact, it's the very opposite.

Jamie hasn't felt quite as good in such a long time that it still bemuses her whenever she finds herself smiling so wide that her cheeks are hurting...

kind of like what she's doing now.

Jamie shakes her head, but nothing can dislodge the expression on her face.

"Poppins," she starts, but when Dani only snores in response, she finally leans closer and shakes her shoulder gently. "Poppins, hey."

"Mm, I don't have classes today," comes the drowsy murmur, and fuck, if that isn't the most adorable thing Jamie's heard in her life. Dani stirs, blinking slowly as her eyes adjust in the dark, mapping the interior of her van before landing, finally, on Jamie. "Hey. Are we there yet?"

"Well, not quite, but—" Jamie's feeling nervous. Why is she feeling nervous? "Well, you've been asleep, and I wanted to show you something 'fore we get there."

"Okay," Dani answers, relenting easily and without a second thought, stretching her arms forward and groaning pleasantly. "Okay, what's up?"

"Close your eyes."

"Oh?"

"Please?"

"Okay?" Dani lets her eyes fall shut, and Jamie finally shuts the engine off and tucks the keys into her pockets. She gets out of her seat, rounds the hood of the van, and then opens Dani's door. "My hand, here, let me help you out, but don't open your eyes, yeah?"

Dani's hand slides into hers without preamble, and she helps her down and onto her feet. With the door closed and the locks set with a click of a button, Jamie leads her companion off the road and down a grassy incline, until the ground gives way to sand. The sound of the ocean grows louder, louder, and it's only then that Dani seems to register it, her head perking up and whirling around, although her eyes are still squeezed shut. "Is that the sea?"

"You've got a keen ear on you, haven't ya?" Jamie chuckles softly when she feels Dani try to bump into her purposefully, receiving the motion because Dani might actually topple down if she dodges away. "S'not fair, that. I can't fight back with your eyes closed."

"Then don't pick fights," Dani snorts in response. She's probably rolling her eyes. Jamie can tell.

Somehow. Jamie can _already_ tell.

Jamie finds the rock she's known about since forever—a spot she's frequented whenever her and her friends set off to Jessel's embarrassingly impressive cabin. It's a remarkably flat boulder emerging from the sand, tucked neatly in the shelter of an alcove of rocky cliffs, and she helps lower Dani onto the surface before taking up the space next to her, her eyes finally moving to the far horizon. "Okay, you can open your eyes now."

She hears Dani gasp quietly.

Beyond them, the sea stretches out into an endless abyss. It mirrors the sky in fragments, in slivers of light—where the sky carries the twinkling stars in still velvet, the sea makes them shift and dance, pirouetting around each other like little wisps across a black dancefloor. The moon and its watery twin watch brightly, one a perfectly round disc of white and the other twisting and turning with the beckon of the waves, their dappled craters colouring all that the eye can see with milky light.

"Wow..."

"Pretty, isn't it?" Jamie's eyes tear away from one vision to another, curiously tracing Dani's profile. There are lines on the cheek she had fallen asleep on, and the moonlight makes her glow and it's _breathtaking_. It's fucking breathtaking. Jamie starts wondering whether she'd been referring to the sea at all.

"I don't— _wow_ , I don't think I've ever seen the ocean like this," Dani whispers back, and Jamie feels a small thrill shoot through her body when Dani tucks herself closer to Jamie's side, sharing warmth as a cool breeze greets them from somewhere beyond the shore. "I don't think I've ever even seen the ocean at night but _this_... this is gorgeous."

"Sunrises and sunsets are fine an' all, but this?" Jamie braces her hands on the stone behind her and leans back, blinking up at the network of stars above them. "There's a serenity to it, seeing the ocean like this—quiet, y'know? Sight like this feels like it exists between seconds, or completely outside of time."

She looks at Dani, and Dani looks at her in kind.

Her blue eyes are deep, darker than she's ever seen them—

"Could get lost in them, I reckon," Jamie finishes in a quiet breath, and then a funny thing happens. Dani's gaze, so drawn to it as she is, flickers down to her lips, then back up to her eyes, switching between them for a few breaths before stilling when, Jamie assumes, Dani realizes where exactly she's been looking.

If any more of her breaths get stolen from her, she's gonna have to get herself checked for a fucking lung problem.

"Poppins?"

"Sorry," Dani quickly interrupts, nerves crackling in the air and Jamie doesn't know whether she should be a little disappointed or too fucking amused for her own good. "I'm sorry, I—"

"It's okay," Jamie answers, her fingers shooting forward to wrap around Dani's sleeve lightly. When Dani looks at her again, it's with an unspoken question, searching for something in the gardener's face that she finds the answer to quickly enough. "Wanna stay here for a minute?"

She watches as Dani nods tentatively before leaning closer. She doesn't even bother to stop the smile spreading on her face when Dani's head lands on her shoulder, arms slipping around one of hers as she leans back on her palms. The weight and warmth of Dani's presence could possibly lull her to sleep, and she lets her eyes fall shut, if only for a moment.

"This place... I've popped by here every time we go to the cabin," Jamie explains quietly, letting a deep breath spill into her lungs. "It's nice, how peaceful it is here. Nice and quiet. Helps me get away from everythin' goin' on, 'specially when life runs you ragged."

"I can see the appeal," Dani hums in agreement, and her breath warms the skin on Jamie's neck. "Are you? Feeling like you've been 'run ragged'?"

"By you?" Jamie considers providing a joking, sarcastic answer, but then Dani's looking at her shyly, hesitantly, and Jamie couldn't scare her like that. Couldn't do it if she tried. "'Course not, Poppins. Matter of fact, I'm feelin' pretty good about now. Freeing, sort of."

"Even if I'm in your little hideout?"

Jamie can't help but snort, because yes, she's perfectly aware that she's brought Dani into the sanctity that is a flat rock in the middle of fucking nowhere, but god, if anything, Dani has made the place mean _more_ than it ever has. " _Our_ little hideout now, if you want it to be. I _do_ know how to share, mind you."

What hasn't she shared with Dani at this point? Barely two days in, and the blonde woman has effectively fused herself with everything Jamie knows so easily, so seamlessly, and without even _realizing_ she has that Jamie can't even remember what it's like not to have her in it. It's too incredibly fast, maybe, but Dani's breathing softly against her skin, curled tightly around her arm, burrowed deeply into her shoulder and Jamie can't even lie about what it means, can't lie to herself or to anyone else if they bother asking. 

"You ready to go?"

When she feels Dani shake her head, Jamie turns her head back to the horizon. "Wanna stay for a bit."

"Of course, Poppins."

Dani's arms wrap a little bit tighter around hers, and Jamie marvels at the situation they've found themselves in. The stagnancy in her life less than a week ago has already evolved into something warm and tender and everything she never even considered could ever have happened in such a short amount of time. All it took was a woman in white jumping into her van, and suddenly it's a whirlwind of everything happening too fast—faster than she can keep track of, certainly—but it's the fact that she's perfectly alright going along for the ride, basking in Dani's warmth under the starry fucking sky, that stuns her most of all.

Stuns her as much as softens her, really.

Jamie marvels at her companion from the safety of the shadowed night, eyes hooded as she gazes at the crown of Dani's blonde head. It's funny, thinking back to less than a week ago when Jamie had decided she'd accepted living the remainder of her life alone with no one but the Leafling's plants. She'd been satisfied, then. Perfectly satisfied with the idea of caring for her flowers until she's old and grey and withering away, but now...

Her chest clenches.

She realizes, now, that there had been something missing and maybe, just maybe, she's found it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from the song "arabella" by the arctic monkeys
> 
> normal situations: meet-cute, several dates, developing feelings...  
> jamie and dani's situation: "OH HI i'm running from my wedding please take me away and oop—are we developing feelings for each other already? lol my bad, but also definitely not bad by any means"
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEAR! here's to hoping 2021 is better than 2020!
> 
> at the very least, i wish this pandemic would be over. i miss going out, and i miss going to the beach (hence this fic). can you tell i'm ocean-starved?


	6. i knew your love before i kissed you (and now you have only made me miss you)

"Wow."

Watching Dani stare around the cabin in wonder sends something pleasant fluttering in Jamie's chest. The way her lips tug into an impressed smile, the wideness in her eyes as she peers through the floor-to-ceiling windows that give them a view of the shore just beyond—it's a sight to behold, truly, and Jamie isn't even thinking about the cabin or the view or the coast or anything that isn't the blue-eyed woman spinning around in the sitting room. 

"Quite a place, yeah?"

"It's gorgeous here," Dani answers, gaze moving from one new thing to the next: from the vaulted ceiling to the wicker chairs, the limestone fireplace to the polished concrete countertop. "Straight out of Pinterest..."

Jamie lets out a surprised bark of a laugh. "That's pretty much Becca, alright."

"And we get to stay here?"

"As long as we'd like," Jamie answers with a resolute nod of her head, peering back out at the dark shores and the blanket of stars hanging above them. "Although, I hope you don't mind that we at least stay a week. Hannah's agreed on coming here over the weekend."

"Rebecca convinced her?"

"Told you she's a miracle worker." Setting their recently-acquired duffel bags down, Jamie allows herself to have a nice stretch, threading her fingers together and pulling her arms up, tense muscles appreciating the release. If she notices Dani's subtle staring or the slight wash of pink spilling across the rise of her cheeks, she doesn't mention it. "So... dinner? We'd have to go out—ah, I mean..."

Realizing her wording, Jamie scratches at the back of her neck awkwardly.

Dani offers a knowing smile that sends something warm trickling down Jamie's chest. "Find a place to get dinner?"

"Yeah, that," she coughs out. "Dinner. We'd have to do groceries in the morning, but for tonight—"

"Dinner sounds wonderful," Dani answers longingly, and Jamie lets out a sigh of relief—before wondering, perhaps a bit too late, why she'd been so worried in the first place. "Maybe we can do take-out? Eat by the shore? I know it's dark, but... I liked what we did earlier."

Jamie blinks once.

Twice.

 _Oh_. She watches as Dani's cheeks grow warmer, but she can't tease her on it—not when her own are starting to colour, too.

"I—" The gardener clears her throat, trying very hard not to look like she's been caught completely by surprise despite the fact that she really _shouldn't_ be as stunned as she feels—it had been pretty obvious, in hindsight, with the... well, it hadn't exactly been cuddling, but it was close enough to be affectionate. Maybe. Jamie doesn't like making assumptions. "I'm sure Rebecca has a lantern here somewhere."

She doesn't understand how flustered she's gotten in Dani's presence. It doesn't make sense. Jamie's supposed to be what she's always been: cool and aloof, smirking lazily, feet thrown up on the table like she hasn't got a care in the world but now, _now_ , she feels like she's jumped a hurdle higher than she'd initially anticipated, tripped, and fell face-first into unknown territory. It's completely jarring—and surprisingly exhilarating.

"How 'bout this," Jamie says after a while, browsing the number of dining leaflets pinned to the fridge. "You peruse those, try to find something you'd like, and I'll look for a lantern and set up by the coast."

"Sounds good to me," Dani beams back and, heaven help her, Jamie finds herself beaming back like a sucker. "Anything in particular you like to avoid? Dislikes? Allergies?"

"S'long as it's edible."

[ 💐 ]

"This place really is beautiful."

Jamie looks up from the empty takeaway tupperware she'd left on the table, one hand settled comfortably on her stomach as she eyes Dani peering up at the sky on the opposite side.

They're in a small gazebo built a few feet from the shoreline's highest point, made with old wood and chipping white paint—but Jamie thinks it adds a nice, rustic flair to the property. Under the weak light of the lantern she'd hung on one of the wooden beams, she watches as her companion flips around on the bench she'd been on before getting up on her feet, wandering over to the low half-walls and leaning out to get a better view.

Jamie doesn't even realize she's followed her there until her arm brushes against Dani's, who smiles warmly in greeting and never moves away.

Her full stomach is abuzz with _something_.

"Passed down from her parents," Jamie offers, leaning her elbows against the top of the wall and staring up at the sky. Out of the corner of her eye, she thinks she might've seen a star shoot across the expanse. "Have you never been out of the town?"

"No, I—well."

"You don't have to tell me if you're not up for it, Poppins."

"No, no, I want to tell you." Jamie waits patiently as Dani pulls a deep breath into her chest, holds it there, before expelling it into the air. "Eddie and I, we'd just moved here. Barely, even. The house isn't even fully furnished yet, kept putting it off until after the wedding, but... well, you know how that turned out."

Jamie nods in understanding. "Glad I could help you get away then. The city can be—stifling."

"Yeah," Dani agrees. "Now, though, I don't know. Eddie's probably gonna sell the house, or maybe he won't. I don't know, I'll have to look for a place to stay when we get back."

That causes a hiss of concern to slip past Jamie's teeth. "Shite, Poppins."

"It's fine—I don't have a lot of stuff anyway, and Eddie... I don't think he'll throw any of my stuff out or mess with them in any way," Dani interrupts quickly, reassuringly. "I've known him since we were kids. He wouldn't do anything like that. And we still have the apartment we rented out while he was house-hunting, under my name, and we paid in advance so it should have a month left. The place costs more than I can afford on my own, though, and I don't want to return to Iowa after—"

Dani seems to stop, thinking pensively, and Jamie watches her silently, slipping a cigarette out from her pocket and lighting up. When her companion doesn't offer anything else, Jamie checks her hip. "You doin' alright?"

"Yeah, no, sorry, got a little lost there, didn't I?" Dani laughs under her breath. "No, I just... I really don't want to go back to Iowa, so I'll just find a cheaper apartment to rent. I like it here, I like my job, I like—"

"Hanging out with the insufferable but entirely dashing gardener and her delivery van?"

"You forgot modest," Dani teases.

"Oh, absolutely!" Jamie's lips fall into an easy grin. "So you agree that I _am_ entirely dashing?"

"Only because you're feeding me."

"Wait until Owen feeds you. You'd rid yourself of me in a heartbeat."

"I would never."

Jamie startles as the air shifts into something serious, charged, and then Dani's looking at her with such deep, well-meaning eyes that she feels like she's being pulled right into them. She can barely make out the colour of them in the dark, but Jamie's already committed their particular shade of vibrant in her mind.

"Poor you," Jamie whispers, and then her gaze finally falls to Dani's lips. "Stuck with little ol' me."

The night comes to a perfect standstill.

It's as if time has decided to hold its breath in anticipation, waiting as Jamie finds herself drawn forward, closer and closer, and Dani makes short work of the distance in kind. Any space left between them seeps away, inch by inch, until she can feel Dani's shy, shallow breaths across her face. The proximity alone is enough for her heart to start knocking against her chest, but it's not enough—not close enough, not nearly, not when Dani's looking at her with such wide, tender, warm eyes.

She raises one hand, tentatively curling it around Dani's cheek, and a soft, approving hum slips past her lips when Dani leans into the touch, her eyes fluttering shut for a few seconds before opening again.

Soft, tender—Dani's nose brushes against her wrist, warming the skin there with her breath, and it steals the air from Jamie's lungs.

She wants to kiss her.

God, _she wants to kiss her._

Instead, she kisses her cheek.

It's a long peck, lips pressing against the skin at the corner of Dani's mouth and staying there for several breaths before pulling away—far enough to put some distance, close enough that she can still feel Dani's surprised breath on the side of her face. Slowly, she presses their foreheads together, eyes falling shut as she tries to draw some semblance of strength from deep within to help her verbalise her thoughts.

"That okay?"

She feels Dani nod, head bumping softly against her own. For a few seconds, a few minutes, they stay like that, content with the serenity the night has given them, hearts pounding a lovesick rhythm to the beat of the waves tumbling, crashing, murmuring against the shore. When Jamie finally opens her eyes, it's to an ocean of misty blue staring longingly back at her. 

"I don't think this is the right order," she jokes, voice thick as those blue eyes crease at the edges. A hand rises between them, curling shakily into the collar of her shirt, and her smile grows impossibly wider.

"Marriage. Roadtrip. Not-date. Sounds about right," Dani says back, breath puffing across Jamie's lips and god, she wants so badly to kiss her, but she wants to do this right.

For once in her life, she wants to get something _right_.

That means trying not to kiss a runaway bride on the second day of meeting her. And it's not like Jamie believes in timelines—love is a feeling that isn't dictated by something as mundane as time, it grows when it wants to grow and where it wants to grow, not all that different from wildflowers—but with Dani, with Dani looking at her like that, she wants to... 

She doesn't even know what, specifically; all she knows is that she wants to give Dani everything the way she deserves them. Better. She deserves better. 

And so Jamie has to get this right. 

"One day at a time, Poppins."

There's the ghost of a promise lingering on her tongue, and she hears Dani inhale, breathing it in; she can trace its path from her lips to Dani's heart, cycling through her chest before hitching a ride on Dani's next exhale, back into Jamie's chest—looping around and around like a favourite record played on repeat.

Dani doesn't even have to ask what it means. There's something warm looming on the horizon of the paths they've twisted themselves around, and Jamie's already halfway there, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from the song "lovesick" by banks


	7. smoking cigarettes on the roof (you look so pretty and i love this view)

The skin on the edge of Dani's lips still burns with Jamie's kiss.

If it's even possible to tuck a moment in time in her back pocket, to keep with her wherever she goes, it would be sharing a cigarette with Jamie in a gazebo in the middle of a quiet beach, blinking drowsily at the infinite sky, whispering about whatever strikes them as the perfect topic to converse about.

They had spent until midnight just talking, nursing a mug of cheap red wine between them, and now, in the privacy of Dani's temporary room in the cabin, she doesn't feel like she can sleep—because Jamie had kissed her, and while it had not been on her lips, it had meant so much all the same that she thinks her heart might burst. Every beat it makes is strong and insistent and impossibly _warm._

No, Dani can't sleep. Not when she knows Jamie is just on the other side of the wall.

_Ping!_

She startles at the sound of her phone's notification. Half-dreading that it might be another notification from her mom, she takes her time reaching over to the bedside table, squinting at the notification before feeling a breathless laugh spill from her mouth.

You have been added to the group, **The Budding Leaflings**  
**The-Becca** has changed your name to **Mary Poppins**  
**The-Becca** has changed the name **Just The Gardener and Mary Poppins** to **Just The Gardener**

 **The-Becca**  
Hi Dani!  
Welcome to the group!

 **Mary Poppins**  
Hi everyone!  
Thanks for having me!  
Becca, this cabin is wonderful

 **Unofficially Mrs. Sharma**  
I'm glad to hear you've settled in fine, Ms. Clayton

 **Your Loaf-verlord**  
Jamie hasn't scared you away yet, has she?

 **Just The Gardener**  
HEY  
I have been PERFECTLY WELL BEHAVED, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW

 **Mary Poppins**  
She's been absolutely wonderful

 **Your Loaf-verlord  
**I'll have to see it to

 **Just The Gardener**  
DON'T YOU DARE

 **Your Loaf-verlord**  
be-leaf-it!

 **Just The Gardener**  
UGH  
FUCK OFF  
Do you see what I have to deal with on the daily, Dani?  
This SHITE  
End me

 **Mary Poppins**  
I'm afraid I can't do that, Jamie :P

 **Just The Gardener**  
Course you can't  
Who else will you steal hoodies from?  
Who else will take you on long drives with wonderful music?

 **The-Becca**  
Oh my!  
What's this?  
Flirting?  
In my good Christian group chat?

Dani feels heat rush to her face at that, sinking hopelessly into her duvet until the only thing left visible are her eyes and the top of her head.

 **Unofficially Mrs.** **Sharma**  
Rebecca...

 **The-Becca**  
OH  
Right, sorry  
Anyways

 **Just The Gardener**  
You've done it now, Becca

 **The-Becca**  
We're not done talking about this  
I'm calling you

 **Mary Poppins**  
Oh boy

 **Just The Gardener**  
Bold of you to assume I'll answer

 **The-Becca**  
You will  
Because if you don't, I'll tell Dani about Sleepy Plaza

 **Just The Gardener**  
YOU WOULDN'T  
UGH  
Fine  
But I won't tell you shite  
Good night, nerds  
Good night, Poppins x

 **The-Becca**  
Good night, Dani!  
Hannah and Owen offer their good night, too

 **Mary Poppins**  
Good night!  
See you all soon!

Dani locks her phone and sets it back on her bedside table, breathing deeply before realizing that, yep, that's a good, old-fashioned, excited scream coming. She pulls her duvet up quickly until it's completely covering her face, pressing her nose into the material and allowing herself a giddy giggle, of all things, because she feels... she feels like she's _floating_.

One hand flies up under the covers to touch the skin Jamie had kissed, and it's still warm.

Looking back, Dani doesn't think she's ever had quite this experience before. The excitement that comes with having a massive crush on someone that might be just as interested as her. Granted, she hadn't been out for much of her life, and with a parent like Karen Clayton, she never did have the opportunity to explore it, either.

It had been a struggle.

It had been nothing but forcing herself to look at Eddie and imagine having butterflies in her stomach when none came.

But with Jamie?

Just the mere thought of the gardener sends Dani's stomach buzzing with affection. More than butterflies, certainly; Dani would even compare it to having a whirlwind in her gut, devastatingly powerful and leaving the rubble of apprehension in its wake. Every single pillar of uncertainty has tumbled down, rendered completely and utterly obsolete, by a storm of curly hair and calloused hands and vibrant eyes—

 _Ping!_ Another notification rings from her phone. Dani returns to the group chat, expecting something else to read and giggle about, but grows confused when the last message is still the one she'd sent... until she sees Jamie's name on her notification panel.

 **Jamie Taylor**  
Still awake, Poppins?

 **Dani Clayton**  
What's up?

 **Jamie Taylor**  
Other than us?

 **Dani Clayton**  
Oh, ha-ha, she's got a funny bone

 **Jamie Taylor**  
Feeling sarcastic tonight, aren't we?  
I can't fall asleep

 **Dani Clayton**  
Why not?

 **Jamie Taylor**  
Dunno  
It happens from time to time  
Wanna watch a movie on Becca's obscenely large telly?

 **Dani Clayton**  
YES

Dani quickly gathers the duvet and throws it over one shoulder, crossing the room towards the door before stopping in front of the mirror, making sure that she looks at least a _little_ bit presentable... not that it really matters to Jamie. Jamie has seen her snoring in her passenger seat and still kissed her cheek. That's got to count for something, shouldn't it?

Still, though, she could at least put in some effort, so Dani straightens the old band shirt she'd borrowed from Jamie and runs her fingers through her hair a couple of times until it looks decent enough not to be considered a bird's nest.

Dani opens the door, fully intent on marching towards the room next to hers, but then she nearly jumps out of her skin to find Jamie already in the hall, leaning against the opposite wall with her hands tucked into her pyjama pants and her head cocked to one side, eyes crinkling amusedly at her. "You're very jumpy, you know that?"

"I am jumpy a reasonable amount," Dani huffs, feigning offence.

"Mm-hm, and I'm not English," Jamie teases amusedly, and there's something so endearing about that shit-eating smirk painted on her face that makes Dani's knees weak. "Must be the coffee you Americans keep drinkin'. Honestly, I have 'em from time to time, but you lot, it's like you run on that shite."

"I'm sorry, I thought you said we were going to watch a movie, not insult my caffeinated bloodstream."

Jamie eases into a wide grin at that, brushing a lock of curls away from her eyes before stepping forward and holding a hand out. Dani doesn't even hesitate, immediately linking their fingers together and allowing herself to be pulled towards the living room.

"Here's the thing," Jamie says, placing the remote control in Dani's hands once she's taken a seat on the sofa. "I'm gonna make us a brew, you choose a film. Make it good, yeah?"

"Any preferences?"

"You mean anythin' other than you," Jamie says with such a smug smile that Dani has to pretend to roll her eyes to keep herself from going absolutely red. "Well, maybe somethin' funny? I don't really mind anythin' as long as it isn't mind-numbingly dull. Somethin' old, somethin' new—anythin' you fancy."

With a final wink, Jamie sets off for the kitchen, and as Dani watches her leave, she _swears_ she sees her swaggering. 

She sends a quiet thanks to the universe for putting her on a collision course with Jamie Taylor.

Two cups and a bag of chips (crisps, Jamie reminds her) later, Dani finds herself curled up on the couch with Jamie beside her, sharing the duvet between them to keep the biting cold at bay. If anybody bothered to ask her what the movie was about, she'd barely have an answer—she's, quite frankly, too occupied by the gardener to even retain what's going on.

Instead of listening to the dialogue, she's listening to Jamie's amused laughs. It comes and goes in short bursts, depending on what's happening in the film, and Dani longs to keep hearing it. Every chuckle, every bubble, it sends something warm blooming between her ribs and, sometimes, she wonders how she can still breathe when she feels so _full_.

Instead of looking at the screen, she's looking at the side of Jamie's face. As the scenes shift from one to the other on the television screen, so too do the colours dance on the gardener's cheeks, pulsing from yellow to blue to red and Dani thinks, knows, that they all suit her best. Painted in different shades and yet the beauty lingers persistently, from the curious arch of her brow, the confident curve of her lips, the intrigued glint in eyes of hazel...

Jamie's looking at her. 

"Somethin' catch your fancy, Poppins?"

Dani feels heat wash across her own face like the tide, but even then her lips pull up in an easy smile, whispering a confession in the space between them. "I think something has, yeah."

"Pray tell, what's burrowed itself into your mind?" 

Jamie turns to her then, legs folding in the space between them until the tips of her toes press into the couch beneath Dani's thighs. The proximity alone is intoxicating. "I think—" Dani pauses, falling pensive, wondering whether she could be so forward to admit what's coiling in her chest. It doesn't help that it's been two days, barely; in fact, the thought of time alone is enough to still her tongue and make her think, because... well, how couldn't it? How can she say that her heart already aches for the woman sitting beside her, flashing her with such a patient smile that coaxes the breath from her lungs? How can she say—

"Dani," Jamie calls out with a quiet breath, cocking her head to one side and offering a reassuring smile. "Somethin' the matter?"

"Yeah, I—" Dani closes her eyes and exhales, trying to gather enough courage to say something, say anything. "I'm glad it was you. I'm glad it was you I bumped into."

It's not what she wants to say and she knows Jamie knows it, but Jamie grins at her all the same. A hand reaches out, reaching for her, and Dani takes it and lets herself be pulled between Jamie's legs, breathing a sigh of relief when she nestles into her torso.

"I'm glad it was me, too," comes the whisper pressed against her temple, the chest under her palms rumbling with quiet laughter, and all Dani can say or do is to bury herself in a tangle of arms, face tucked into the base of Jamie's throat. Gently, she feels Jamie pitch backwards, leaning against the arm of the couch and pillowing Dani's weight, arms wrapped around her back and cradling her close. "Should catch some shut-eye, I know you're not watching the movie."

"Sorry," Dani giggles quietly, breath warm on Jamie's skin, although she's not very sorry at all. "I just found something more interesting to look at, that's all. Can you blame me?"

She feels Jamie's body shake in a chuckle, murmuring, "Poppins, you flirt." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES THOSE ARE GIRL IN RED LYRICS, YES I LISTEN TO GIRL IN RED
> 
> chapter title is from the song "we fell in love in october" by girl in red
> 
> anyway catch me trying to somehow crawl our way back to the plot (lmao we had a plot???) but instead getting sidetracked by the 23748923 moments of dani and jamie just being cute and adorable and tooth-rottingly fluffy. i promise we have a roadmap... it just so happens that we're hitting all the tourist spots along the way, i hope none of you mind 😊


	8. all the pretty girls in the world but i'm in this space with you (colored out the lines, i came to find, my fire was fate with you)

It's too bright.

Jamie grumbles something resembling a complaint as she registers the heat pressing against her cheeks. Something's shining directly on her face, and while Jamie has never had many complaints regarding the illuminating nature of the sun, she doesn't necessarily _like_ making a habit of having it burn her skin before mid-day. She makes a move to block the stream with one arm but stumbles, brows furrowing further down her face, when she realizes that there's a kink in her neck and a slight, uncomfortable throb on her lower back.

Slowly raising her head, she squints against the sunlight to find a pristine ceiling lined with dark, wooden beams. Thinks, _definitely not my flat, then_ , and turns to the side to find herself reflected on the black screen of the telly. She remembers, then, that she had been watching a movie... cuddled into Dani.

"Good morning, Jamie."

" _Jesus_ ," Jamie hisses out, bolting up into a seated position and finding Hannah, a serene but knowing smile on her face, sitting on one of the barstools lining the kitchen counter. "Hannah, I love you, but you nearly gave me a bloody heart attack!" 

Hannah only laughs in response, Jamie grumbling under her breath as she runs a hand through her hair. She doesn't remember the exact time she'd fallen asleep, only that she'd been marvelling at Dani's peaceful snoring—"Where's, uh, where's Dani?"

"Out, doing groceries with Rebecca and Owen," comes the quiet answer, and Jamie turns back to her friend, glaring suspiciously at the deliberate arch of her eyebrow over the rim of a teacup.

"What's this, then?" Her tone is guarded, defensive, one hand clutching the back of the couch, watching carefully as Hannah lowers her drink, sets her hands on her lap, and shakes her head.

"What's what, Jamie?"

"This look—" Jamie mimics what she thinks is a good imitation of Hannah's smug expression. "—that you're wearin'."

"I wasn't aware I was wearing a look."

She is. Jamie's certain of it, but she doesn't exactly like picking fights with her boss. She sighs instead, throwing her legs over the side of the couch and getting up on her feet, stretching her arms up to try and remedy her throbbing muscles, only to, under a litany of curses, realize that it's not gonna be as easy as that. Her back is wrecked. She's a gardener who spends damn near all day and all night buried to the elbows in soil and her back is wrecked from _one_ night of sleeping on the couch with— _shit._

"You, uh..." Jamie turns slowly, returning her eyes to Hannah and that impeccably insufferable brow. "Did you arrive while we were still sleepin'?"

"Yes."

"Right." The embarrassment crests like a tidal wave and knocks her off her feet. "Right. Cool. Right then. I'll—I'll go get changed."

And she marches off to the room she's claimed for herself, the room that she has effectively ignored in favour of sleeping on the couch with Dani and being discovered, in the morning, by all of her coworkers who most certainly will continue lording it over her for as long as their lives will allow, simply because they _can_ , and it's not like they haven't done it before. Just last night, Rebecca had almost told Dani about— _fucking shit._

Jamie throws on the first articles of clothing she can find and marches out with a huff. "Did they take the van?"

There's a glint in Hannah's eyes, one that she elects to ignore. "No, they took Owen's."

"Great. I'll be back." And with that, Jamie makes a scramble for the front door, because she absolutely does _not_ trust Owen and Rebecca to keep her secrets around Dani. Sure, she trusts them enough to _tell_ them her secrets, but they have the very annoying habit of sticking their noses in other people's business, such as Jamie's dating life, and they will absolutely tell Dani whatever they can to endear her to Jamie.

Really, Jamie appreciates the gesture, but _Jesus Christ_ , she has to put an end to it before they can blurt out something that's particularly embarrassing.

Like Sleepy Plaza.

Goddamn, _motherfucking_ Sleepy Plaza.

Thankfully, she knows exactly where to go. Every summer, when the Leafling can afford to close its doors for a weekend or two, they always go to a quaint little grocery store named Love's to stock up on necessities (because the residents of the coastal outskirts of Tidal Bay aren't necessarily known for their originality). She finds the location easily enough, a five-minute drive from the cabin, and breathes a sigh of relief when she sees Owen's car.

Hard not to notice it when it's, by far, the oldest-looking automobile in the lot.

With a deep breath to steel herself, Jamie parks next to the steel monstrosity and makes her way across the tiny car park, mustering up a neutral expression—until she sees Dani between the aisles, pushing a shopping cart, her hair pulled into something that can barely be called a bun and looking, and Jamie has to pinch herself when the thought leaps into her head from her chest, _divine_. Any neutrality she might've worn on her face melts.

" _Jamie!_ "

Jamie's shoulders jump at the sudden chirp of her name somewhere to her right, and all treacle-thick calm shatters as she whirls around to glare at Owen, hands balled up to fists on either side of her hips. "Is everyone tryin' to scare me half to death today? Jesus, Owen! Was that necessary?"

"Best way to wake a person up, I'm afraid," comes the smug response, to which Jamie can only roll her eyes before, "Did Mrs. Grose-cery wake you up?'

_Grose...cery?_

"Jesus, even for you," she grumbles out, rubbing fruitlessly at the bridge of her nose, using feigned exasperation to think up a reason why she's driven all this way to Love's without making it _entirely_ obvious that she doesn't have faith on either of her friends not to embarrass her. "Nobody woke me up for groceries? What if I needed somethin'?"

"You could've just texted?"

Well, _shit_ , he's got a point.

"What if it wasn't available? Should I—should I spend the entire mornin' on the phone tryin' to tell you to pick what brand to get? Or... or what if you finished shoppin' while I was still knocked out, huh?" It's Jamie's turn to look smug, crossing her arms over her chest and narrowing her eyes at Owen's growing grin. "Quite frankly, I am hurt that you didn't think about bringin' me with..."

Jamie trails off as she sees Rebecca and Dani emerge from the aisle behind Owen, speaking furiously in hushed tones. It's Rebecca who notices her first, letting out a startled, " _Jamie!_ ", followed by a whirl of blonde hair as Dani turns around to look at her, pins her to the spot with sleepy blue eyes that glint delightedly under the fluorescent lights.

"Yes, that's my name," Jamie mumbles under her breath, trying to stamp down the nagging need to flush under the weight of Dani's gaze in favour of feeling partially cross because it's the third time someone has said her name in the span of an hour. With a calming sigh, she grabs Owen's elbow and marches over to them. "Can't believe none of you woke me up."

"Sorry," Dani pipes up with an apologetic smile, fists white around the handlebars of the cart. There's a lock of hair clinging to the apple of her cheek, and Jamie wants to reach for it and tuck it back. "I told them you might be tired from driving all day."

Well, it's not like Jamie can get mad at that then.

"S'alright," she manages to choke out, ears warm as she rounds the trolley and gently, tenderly, nudges Dani aside to take over pushing duties. Jamie makes a point not to look at Rebecca in the eyes—or, even worse, Owen, who she can sense is harbouring a shit-eating grin from the corner of her eyes. "Just... remembered I needed somethin' this mornin'."

"You needed something," Rebecca repeats, eyebrows arching high in poorly concealed suspicion. "Pray tell, what was it you needed?"

 _Shit._ "Sunblock?" 

" _Sunblock?_ You mean the one we always keep stock of in the cupboard?" 

_Double shit._ "We ran out."

"Hm." Rebecca's eyes linger on her longer than should be deemed necessary before turning away with a shrug. "Of course. Sunblock. Yes, I recall seeing bottles of them down that way."

The look she throws over her shoulder is enough for Jamie to know, with absolute certainty, that she's not being subtle in the least, but when Dani covers one of her hands with her own and helps her nudge the trolley down the aforementioned aisle, Jamie thinks it might be worth it a little ribbing.

Later, Jamie surreptitiously hides the two bottles of sunblock in her room before anyone can realise that she'd been blatantly lying. No one has to know.

[ 💐 ]

With the groceries set aside and breakfast over and done with, Jamie leads the procession of individuals onto the strip of beach that hugs the tail-end of the lovingly-dubbed Jessel Estate. While she admittedly prefers the ocean at night, Jamie nevertheless appreciates the beauty of the coast awash in daylight, with its brilliant blue sea and cream-coloured shore and the tumble of black rocks framing their private paradise.

Jamie leans back against one of the pillars of the gazebo, happy enough to rest in its shade, watching as Owen leads Hannah deeper into the waves, as Rebecca and Dani let the murmur of waves soak their bare feet. She's still blown away by how lucky she seems to have gotten so far: she's got a job she loves, friends she adores, a vacation home to escape to—and blue eyes squinting back at her from the waterline, imploring for her to approach.

Not much she can do, then, but oblige.

"Know the year's been busy and all," Jamie starts when she's close enough, standing next to Dani and idly burying her toes into fine sand, "but I think we really should start comin' back here every quarter like we used to. S'nice, just existin' like this."

"Hannah will have to check the books," Rebecca says, peering at her from Dani's other side. "You know, to see if we can afford being gone for so many weekends. We'll have to schedule someone to look after the greenhouse, too, but we found one on short notice easily enough. Wouldn't be a bother to ask him if he's interested."

"As long as they can take care of my plants the right way, fine by me," Jamie grumbles with a tip of her head, eyes straying to map the profile of Dani's face. "What about you, Poppins? Any qualms with comin' back here a weekend per quarter?"

It's more than just an offer for a vacation; she knows it, and Dani knows it.

Jamie's extending a part of their lives to Dani beyond this uncertain predicament they've found themselves in, beyond however many days they spend between running away from Dani's old life and returning to Dani's new one. She remembers, distinctly, each fear Dani had detailed, movie forgotten on the telly as they huddled close together on the couch. She remembers, distinctly, Dani's worry that the euphoria she's found herself luxuriating in will be short-lived, ripped off before she can fully embrace it, because it's happened before, she said, and it could happen again.

So this, Jamie thinks, is her helping to alleviate that.

It's more than just an offer for a vacation; it's her reminding Dani that, for all the chaos that might await them after their burst of spontaneity, they can always have this, have _them_ , if she wants to.

Only ever if she wants to.

Which she does, Jamie thinks, when Dani's eyes warm at the question, followed quickly by an eager nod of her head. "As long as they're weekends," she answers, as cooly as she can, but Jamie can hear the ringing excitement under them, spread generously on every word. "I'd love that."

"Brilliant," Rebecca enthuses, clapping her palms together before wrapping her arms around one of Dani's, beaming at her. "Oh, this will be so lovely! There are so many places to show you. There's the lake further up North, the amusement park, the sanctuary, the garden—oh, Jamie, we must show her the garden."

"The garden?" Dani looks at her, intrigued.

Jamie pauses and considers:

She has always been hesitant about bringing anyone to the garden. It had taken nearly a year before she showed it to Rebecca, to Owen, to Hannah; distantly, she wonders whether it would be too early to reveal this aspect of her vulnerabilities to Dani, but another glance at the smile erupting on her face solidifies her resolve. 

Could Jamie really concede this part of her life into the hands of a woman who, less than two days ago, had been a stranger?

 _Yes_ , she thinks, blinking as she takes in Dani's eyes, wide with barely-concealed excitement. A lock of blonde has untucked itself from behind her ear to flutter and dance with the wind, and Jamie reaches out to trap it between her fingers, twisting playfully before nestling it back in place. Dani's cheek chases after the touch, and Jamie allows her to close the distance, thumb tracing the soft incline of her jaw.

She can share this with Dani. She _has_ _to_ share this with Dani.

"The garden," she echoes conspiratorially at Rebecca, although her eyes never do leave Dani's, cool hazel steadily meeting warm blue. "We'll definitely show her the garden."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from the song "honey" by kehlani
> 
> so what's sleepy plaza? the garden?? jamie??? please SHARE??
> 
> also just. the sheer irony of jamie teasing dani last chapter for being jumpy and then THIS happening. sweetie......... 
> 
> n e ways. not a lot happening here, i know, but these little moments are just... like... they write themselves, i'm just here documenting whatever the gang gets themselves into. they wanted to be cute and do their groceries and talk about wherever the hell the wind will take them before they have to face the music of karen clayton. i am, of course, an obliging... d... documentor?? documentator???? idk man i'm dumdbdjdjdk
> 
> i repeat: plot?? what plot???? might as well tag this as FWP, fluff without plot...
> 
> except we do, which we'll get to.
> 
> eventually..... just lemme get all this travelling excitement done first. the pandemic, man. i'm just out here living vicariously through them 😫
> 
> P.S. sorry for the late update, folks! i was moving places so it's been a pretty packed weekend. the worst of it is done now, though, so hopefully we can go back to having a regular update schedule between the three fics!


	9. but the weather puts you on my mind / dragonfruit and peaches in the wine (kissin' circles underneath your eyes)

"Where are we headed?"

Dani's breathless as Jamie tugs excitedly on her hand, leading her higher up a woodland incline. Somewhere beyond them are Hannah and Owen and Rebecca, so used to following an invisible path to their mysterious destination, while Dani, a straggler, lingers behind. A part of her feels a little guilty for slowing their group down, a woman so used to apologies being extended for even the most inconsequential mishaps, but one look at Jamie's patient eyes as she glances back at her over her shoulder alleviates the anxiety burrowing in Dani's gut.

It also helps that Jamie hasn't once let go of her hand during the hike, calloused palms pressed comfortably against her own.

"You know how I feel about spoilin' secrets, Poppins," Jamie chuckles, shaking her head and slowing to a stop to face her fully. "You good?"

"I'm good," she answers immediately before wincing when she realises that her voice's breathless quality isn't necessarily because of Jamie's proximity to her—although, sure, if she doesn't feel like dropping dead on the forest undergrowth from tiredness, she'll still be breathless regardless by the aforementioned lack of distance between them. "Just—how long before we get there?"

"Almost there," Jamie answers, nodding towards the distance, and Dani's eyes land on a wall of rope-thick vines and various crawling flora. "Can see it from here, I reckon."

"See what?" Dani squints but finds nothing beyond the greenery. "All I see are vines and trees."

"You'll see what I mean," Jamie chuckles, squeezing Dani's hand before resuming her lead. With a sigh that's half-endeared and half-tired, Dani follows, growing more and more intrigued as they draw closer to the barrier.

"Jamie, where..?" Dani blinks once, twice, looking at the barricade of plants preventing them from going further. She looks to her left, then to her right, then behind her before murmuring, "Where'd they go?"

"You'll see." When Dani turns back to Jamie, her heart pitches a desperate note, slamming wildly against the back of her chest when she notices the infinitesimal gap between them. Slowly, tentatively, Jamie raises her hand and traces the curve of Dani's jaw, Dani's skin prickling with pleasure as a thumb and index finger capture the jut of her chin. Jamie continues, gaze dipping, "Do you trust me?"

What else can she do but nod, transfixed by a delighted face decorated by sunlight, dappled by the overhead foliage? 

Dani wants to lean closer, cross the distance between them, to capture Jamie's smile in hers, to feel its mirthful curve press against her lips, but then Jamie's pulling away, and a note of confusion lodges itself in Dani's throat before she can stop it.

"Good," Jamie says with a nod, leaning back against the wall of vines and bending, slightly, her own fingers threading together and cupping air. "C'mon. Up you go."

"You... want me to go over it?"

Jamie nods. "Yes, Poppins. Gate's rusted shut."

"Gate..?" Dani squints at the barrier behind Jamie's shoulder, trying to look past all the green—until she realizes, _oh_ , that the vines are crawling over a wall instead of each other, enveloping stones that have turned slightly green overtime, camouflaging them from her eyes. Startled, and still a little dumbstruck by the revelation that there must be a structure here, in the middle of what had certainly felt like miles of woodland, Dani approaches Jamie and gently hikes a foot up into her waiting hands, fingers braced along Jamie's shoulders.

"Ready, Poppins?" Dani glances back up, finds the space between them has been reduced once more. Dani allows herself some time to map the different hues coalescing in Jamie's hazel eyes, each coloured fragment burning with an excitement so palpable that she can taste it on Jamie's even breaths.

Dani nods, and Jamie launches her up. A pull, a heave, and some embarrassing scrambling later, and she's mounting the top of the wall with both her legs clutching either side, hands buried furiously into a thick vine. "Jamie, what about—"

Jamie answers her question by heaving herself up onto the wall, hooking fingers onto the ledge just past Dani's knee and pulling, then pushing herself up with laboured breaths. Dani doesn't fail to notice each swell and flex of Jamie's muscles, rippling with exertion, clambering up until she's mirroring Dani, knees brushing against knees. "Like what you see, Poppins?"

"You did that on purpose," Dani teases, but her voice wavers for all her false bravado, eyes still honed in on Jamie's biceps. "You're showing off."

"Perhaps," comes the drawled answer, a flash of glinting teeth, and then Jamie's dropping down on the other side. "C'mon down, Poppins. Promise it's not that high."

"Easy for you to say, you're already down there," Dani grinds out, throwing one leg over the wall to face the side Jamie's on, bracing her fingers along the edges as she tries to calculate the distance between her swinging feet and the ground. A swell of fear lodges itself between Dani's lungs, nerves crackling, but then she looks at Jamie again—Jamie, with her wide hazel eyes, hand outstretched, beckoning.

With a deep breath, Dani shoves off of the wall and lands, if a little precariously, knees bending to absorb the impact before straightening again, wobbly, when Jamie's hand wraps around her own, heralded with a whispered, "There we are."

Jamie's close again—she's been getting closer and closer all day, Dani notices, from the way their shoulders pressed against each other behind the grocery store trolley to their knees bumping into each other's under the table at breakfast. Dani doesn't mind, though; if anything, she basks in the warmth rolling off of Jamie in waves, smiling pleasantly when she sees those hazel eyes dip near-imperceptibly to her lips. A smile that quickly falters, stunned, when one of Jamie's hand rises, thumb tracing the shape of it, parting it, before releasing.

Dani looks up and finds her eyes boring into hers, lingering for only a second longer, but seconds have quickly turned out to feel like lifetimes whenever Jamie is concerned.

"We go here," Jamie starts with a shallow breath, warm air puffing against Dani's face, "whenever we're in town. Part of the itinerary. It's a nice little private place where we can just enjoy our surroundings, not have to worry about work or customers or..." Jamie makes a face, scrunched up and endearing, "worse, _boys_."

The way she says it, dripping with feigned mockery, sends Dani snorting with laughter.

"You haven't even looked over my shoulder yet, Poppins," she hears Jamie murmur, close enough now that half a step is all it will take for Dani to crash her mouth into Jamie's, but the way the excitement bubbles under her words—no, Dani decides, kissing her will have to wait. "Still not lookin'."

"Can you blame me for being so distracted?" Dani's voice is less than a whisper, a smile that she sees Jamie trace with intrigued eyes, but Dani relents nevertheless, easing into Jamie's waiting arms and propping her chin over Jamie's shoulder—

and gasping at the sight that unravels before her.

"Oh, Jamie, this is—" She stops, unable to verbalise her awe, as she registers the beauty erupting all around them. Plants spiral up and around broken pillars and toppled walls. The path underneath them is part grass, part dirt, part leftover stone from an era before. Sunlight pierces the canopy in thick, golden shafts, sparkling against thick curtains of kudzu plants and marble fountains and forgotten statues set on ivy-laden pedestals. There's a greenhouse in the distance, already missing several glass panels from years of disuse and harbouring more crawling vines than steel, and, tucked in the far corner, a triangular shape of iron crowning a limestone pillar. "Jamie—"

Jamie's arms tighten around her back, breath warming the skin on the side of her neck with a breathy chuckle. "Quite a view, isn't it?"

"This is amazing," is all she can utter in awe, eyes sweeping from one forgotten structure to the next. While overgrown in its entirety, the garden carries itself with a wistful mysticism, carrying tales between cornerstones of a life before theirs. It's a landscape of green and white and splashes of wildflowers tickling every viable surface with colour, and Dani's completely, utterly struck. "I—How..?"

"Tale isn't quite as pretty as this, m'afraid," comes the murmured response, lips brushing against her skin, and Dani wraps her arms around Jamie's back in return. The torso pressed against her trembles with a deep, steadying breath before spilling out, and Dani clings on, knowing—somehow—that Jamie wants her to stay like this, if only for a little while. "Runnin' from myself back then. Needed to forget. Past almost caught up to me, almost ruined everythin' I'd built since."

Jamie has never shared a fragment of her past before, not like this. Dani had never wanted to force her, to make her reawaken old ghosts, but here, now, Jamie works to find the words to share a piece of herself with Dani, placing it gingerly between the cup of her palms, and Dani holds it to her chest, holds _Jamie_ to her chest, treasuring it for all its scars.

"I served time, you know," Jamie confesses, her grip wavering on Dani's back, but even then Dani tightens her own, wanting Jamie to feel her presence—to ground her, because she's here, and she thinks she succeeds when she feels Jamie's fingers tighten into the material of her shirt. "Learned gardening when I was there. For a while, I—I didn't know what to do when I was out. Didn't know where to go. Got in trouble for somethin' I didn't even do, ran like I did it anyway, and found myself here. I ran. I drove. I walked... then I found this."

Dani nods, her gesture tentative, palms pressing gently into Jamie's back and digging into the muscles there reassuringly.

"The fountains were tacky," Jamie laughs, burying her face into the crook of Dani's neck, continues, "the statues even worse, but the flowers—the flowers were beautiful and insistent and stubborn. Reminded me they could bloom wherever the hell they pleased, through sheer fuckin' will, because they wanted to, because they _could_. They sank their roots in places where no one believed they could and grew. Told me I could, too, if I wanted, and so I did."

A smile presses against her flesh.

"You deserve to know that part of me." Jamie pulls away, pressing her forehead to Dani's, and Dani accepts the gesture easily, welcomingly, hands easing to the back of Jamie's shoulders and cradling her close, spilling strength where they touch. "Deserve to know because I—this place, it's important to me, and you're pretty important to me, too, Poppins. I wanted you to know."

"Thank you for telling me," Dani breathes back, one hand slipping over Jamie's shoulder, tracing a path up her neck to cup her cheek, marvelling at the warmth beneath her palm. Her thumb strikes out, gently sweeping under one eye, tracing the rise of Jamie's cheekbone reverently. "Thank you for bringing me."

For a while but also for a lifetime, for a minute but also for an infinity, they stand there, sharing a private moment in-between walls of ivy and rundown statues and shafts of sunlight burning through the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from the song "green eyes" by arlo parks
> 
> so if you haven't read from the ghost update, we've once again hit the end of our posting queue, so if it takes a little longer for an update, please bear with me 🥺 irl i've been stretched pretty thin so it's been A Struggle, but i promise i'm not gonna leave you guys hanging with an unfinished fic! i happen to love you all too much for that 🥰
> 
> i will ALSO take this time to advertise a new fic, because i'm very clearly A Whole Ass Mess. if you like the thought of jamie taylor being in a band and singing 70's to 90's rock music, think joan jett or lita ford, and if you also like the E rating, i've thrown up my new fic, which you can read below 👉😎👉  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/29236842/chapters/71789667


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